I am the MAN..!!

You can go now...
I dont care anymore...
And my heart knows it very well...
That its great without YOU..!!
I had never thought it will be so pleasant in the end..and its not hurting me anymore...
In the end I am happy..!!

The Impossible...!!

I tried not to look at you...
I even tried my level best to escape from you...
But I could'nt...
Because...
There is something in your eyes...
Its like...
You want me to FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU..!!

The Time...

Why our time never match??
And why I always have to wait for you..!!

Everyday...

Sometimes its too hard to love someone everyday in the same way who hates you...
Sometimes you too hate them...you count them in the most heartless creatures on this Earth...
But whatever it may be you still love them with same heart and feeling of helplessness..!!

The Blank Life...

Im waiting for when this will end...
I dont want you to come back now...
And I dont want to move on too...
Im in the middle of this thing where I just want to hold you and cry...
That why did you go away...!!

Dont Mess...!! ;)

Some times its good to be someone else...
People get confused what you really are...
And thats the best thing...
They will never try to mess with you...because they're CONFUSED...
And those who still want to mess with you...
Im sure they'll never leave you...!!

The Silent Words...

I know I can never hear you...
For myself ever again...
Because you'll never speak to me...
But your eyes will...
And I will read them...
Like every day...
Till you will come in my way...

If...

If you were here...
We would laugh about the silly things we had...
If you were here...
I would love to fall in love again..!!

Love ??

Love...
Before you was a question...
With you...
Was within you...
After you...
Was a confusion...
And later it was an answer...
But it was too late for my realization...

A Fool...

I am such a fool...
To be credulous about every single word you say...
I am such fool...
To be with you when you went in some other way...
I am such a fool...
Who is still searching you...
Thinking you might come one day...
I am such a fool...
And I dont get this simple thing...
That you have nothing to say...

The Next Move...

I will never ever come back to you...

Not even if you'll come down by my balcony...

And sing our favorite song...

Not even if you'll get my favorite ice cream...

To cool me down...

Not even if you'll hold your ears...

And make that innocent face...

Not even if you'll just look at me once...

And say that everything is still the same...

Because I cried a lot for you...

But you just left me in pain...

The Craze...

Love...
It is beautiful is'nt it...
Because in love...
Everything about that ordinary person we love seems so Extraordinary every time...
And we never get tired of going crazy about them...

The Rawr...!!

Let me explain...
How anger inside us mounts up...??
Its when we want something so bad and we cant have it...
Or when things does'nt go in the way we want...
So..why the hell you dont get this...
That I Love You...

A Star...

Everything has stopped...
My life has paused...
You are walking away...
And I just cant stop...
Time took you away...
Now you are so far...
Just like a star...
And now I feel...
I can never have them...
So I can never have you...
But I'll gaze at them from here...
And will remember you...

Let Go...

I guess it was easier for you to let me go...

Because I dont find anything more...
Except you...yes YOU...
The only thing I knew so far...
So deep...so well...
And I just cant let you go like that...
I will beg...
I will plead...
I will do every possible thing I can do...
But I just cant let you go...
Because its not easier for me like you...

The Tomorrow...

I cannot predict future...
Because its not in my hand...
So even if I die tomorrow...
I can tell God that the one thing I thought when I had my last breath was YOU...
I thought I wish I would have never hurt you...
I wish I can go back and make things right...
"I thought I wish I had another chance..."

The Root...

You know when the problem starts...
Its when you're dying inside to talk to that someone and its impossible...
And you cant even share that with anybody just because its not their problem..its YOURS...!!

Little Special...

Few things I think....
Since the day...
You went far away from me...
That what you must be doing right now ??
May be the things which are taking you far away from me...
Or may be you must be talking to some random girl...who has become little special for you now...
Like I was Once...

Its Me...

Why you hurt me so much everyday...
Why cant you see..
That its me..
The one you loved more than life...
It makes me cry everyday...
That why you hurt me so much...
Why cant you see.
That its me...
And I miss you so much..!!

The Unanswered Things...

Sometimes this world seems to be true for me...
I feel...Yes everybody is right about you...
They say you dont care about me anymore...
But why I do..??
They say that you have already moved on...
But why dint I..??
They say that Im just an ordinary person in the crowd for you...
But why are you so special..??
And I know...
I will never get the answers of these questions...
Because you are never going to come back...
Still I will wait for you...
But why nobody knows...

The Blind Side...

Im so jealous of every girl you talk to...
It burns me inside...
So what if we dont interact anymore...
I still jump with that enthusiasm...
Just to have your one look...
And specially when they talk about you...
I feel like smashing their head on the wall...
At that moment I realize...
Im not over with you yet...
You still exist inside me...
Im just unable to get rid of you...
May be I dont want to go away from you...
But I know thinking about you gives me peace...

Something I Never Told You Before...

I have never told you before..
But today I want you to know that...
I fight with you all the time...
Because you are the only one with whom I can fight...
You know we share same nature...thats why sometimes I cant stand you...
But I love you very much...
So what if I fight with you..
I have full right to do that...
So what if I argue with you...
I have only you to talk...
I love you very much mum...
I know Im very much irresponsible, spoiled and careless kid in your sight...
But Im grown up now...
And I want to take care of you....
Just listen to me sometimes...
I love you mum...

The Rain Of Love...

Our rain of love stopped...
You went your way...
And never looked back...
I was confused...
But I was still standing their...

And you know what...
Im still standing here...
Waiting for this rain to fall again...
Waiting for you to come back...

And the day you'll come back...
I'll hold you tight and will never let you go...

I promise...!!

The Hope...

I may have decided to move on now...
But I still think about you...
I may have erased all of your memories...
But I still put an effort everyday to save one...
I may have lost all rights on you...
But you still cant take away my man from me...
He'll always be with me...
I will not say that I will wait for you till my death...
But I will mention that I'll have a hope...
Thats all I can have with me...

The Reflection...

I saw you today...
You were so happy...

Im glad...

Finally you're out of...

Whatever we had...

Im happy..

Dont worry about me...

I'll be fine someday...

But you know what makes me happy now...

Its few my things which you still have...

You have started talking like me...acting like me...

And yes most important...hurting like me..!!

The Two Strangers...

I dont know whether you miss me...
Sometimes...may be for a second...or may be for a moment...
I dont have any clue what you think...
May be about me when you dont find me...
This time...this period we are going through is little strange...
We are strangers now...
It is strange...
Our incomplete dreams are strange...
I dont exist for you is strange...
Everything around me is strange except you...
You're still the same...!!

The Insecure Me...

I cant act like its not effecting me...
I cant act like...you dont matter at all...
And yes I hate you so much now that why did I fall in love...
Because I cant keep on changing my ways every time I look at you...
Go away somewhere...stop being so important in my life...
When Im just a piece of shit in yours...!!

The Undesirable Truth...

You know why we went apart...
I guess just to make me realize what I want...
And yes..now I know what I want...
But I can do nothing about it...

The Present...

I feel so free now...
It was never about you I guess...
It was always about me, myself and my life...
You were just a part...which is over now...
And because of you only I knew what Im meant for...
Yeah..life is good..in fact very good...
And Im glad once you were the part of it...:)

The Space...

What I have done to myself...
Its so cold now without you...
Yeah..I miss you...
But why I cant tell you...
And I know you must be very happy now...
This is only...what you always wished for me...
Is happening now...
Im suffering deep inside...
I feel like hell...
Thank You...

An Idiot...

I hated it..when you dont listen me..
I hated it whenever you annoy me..

I hated it to the peak...
That you always fell asleep whenever we had something important to talk...

I hated it most when you were always behind me...
When I was searching you everywhere...
But the biggest thing I hate about you is why did you let me go..
When you know that Im an idiot...

I Hate You..

Everything becomes so hateful that moment...
Whenever I see you...it makes me feel so sick...
That why did I loose you...
When I knew that I Love you...
Why did I say that I dont...
And then I decide...I wont...
I wont look at you...
But you..
Your charm...play games with me...
And it makes me look at you again and again...
It makes me dont care about people...
And I feel that they does'nt even exist...
And I hate you for this...
Even if I dont..I will try to hate you for this...:/ :/

A New Day.. : )

The Confusion...

I know Im bad..
Because of me you're sad...
I dint wanted to do dis...
And you dont have to be mad at me...
Im really sorry...
I wrote this in my diary...
But could'nt say this to you...
That everything happening is not made up..
Im not that clever...
Im not a cheater...
Im just confused within my small world...

The Crowd...

I dont know why I still search you in the crowd...
When I know that Im over with you...

The Escape...

May be I dont know what I want from life...
And may be Im in love with you...
I just need little explanations for everything happening around me...
But my mind is so fluctuating that Im unable to decide which way to go...
Thats why I wont come to you until my soul scolds me...
Until my heart cries for your voice...
I dont want to enter your life and then regret that why did I came into that thing again from which I have been running away...
Thats RELATIONSHIP....

The Bulb...

This LOVE thing is totally out of my job...


I dont understand why it is not typically straight...one side they say,"The person who loves you will never let you go.."

And the other side they say,"Let your love go..If he comes back then it is yours and if he does'nt then bla bla...

What kind of bullshit was that...how can we let it go and never let it go at the same time...


And some stupid people I know imply this on their lives...


God..this world is full of Idiots...:/


Thank God..Im not one of them...so be single or love will eat your brain too...:S

The Peace...

The Truth...

I believe that there is someone out their for everyone...

Nobody is born without their life partner already destined from above..

But I have seen some people die without any love in their life...
It proves that they does'nt even get chance to meet their soul mate...
Its scary...I wish I would not be one of them...
And you too...

The Book Store...

I was alone..
I had nobody..

I was reading a novel..
Because I was not in the mood to study...

I went to the Book Store...
And picked my favorite book...
Meanwhile I sensed something...
That someone was giving me an introspective look..

As if he was deciding something...
Something about me...
He seemed crazy for a while..actually very crazy...

I just went out of there...
Out of that atmosphere...

And when I looked back...
I found he was following me...

So I stopped..I was very pissed off..
I was already upset..
And this strange guy was giving me creeps...

I turned back...
And went to him in anger...
I looked at him...
But...oh..he had very pretty eyes...
Pure..gentle...innocent...blue...deep like sea...it was distracting me..

So I dint say anything...
But he said something...something very weird...
He said,"I saw you in my dream last night.."
I said,"What rubbish?? I dont even know you"
He said,"Exactly..I dont even know you..but I saw you.."

He was scaring me...
And suddenly this guy kissed on my cheeks and ran away...
I was speechless...I went back to home...

Next day..I again went to that Book Store..
He was there..he came to me...
And shouted at me in anger,"Why are you coming in my dreams..Stop doing this..please.."
I said,"What boy..I dont even know what you are talking about.."
He said.,"Everyday you come in my dreams..and its making me fall in love with you..so stop doing this."

I was confused..I did not say anything..
I thought it was better not to say anything..
I came back...

That night I had a dream...I saw him..Yeah..the same guy...
And he asked me the same question again...
He said he loves me...but he died in my dream in front of my eyes...
I was really scared after this dream and worried too...

So next morning I again went to that Book Store...

Everybody was talking about some accident in downtown...
I asked the guard about that guy...
He said that guy was the same person who met an accident...
I asked him who was he...
He said the guy was a writer...
And I use to buy his books only every time...
His last novel was about one dream...
I was really scared...Yes it was about me...

I dont know what was Gods plan...
But he was upto something very strange...
I read that novel...I wish he was alive...
I wish I could see him again...

The Silence...

Atheism..

Its better to be an Atheist...
Because 19 years after believing in God..he just gave me failures every time..and he proved me that he does'nt exist..!!
Now I believe there is no one above watching us every second...there is no one to show us right path of life...
Everybody is born with there own fate...and everything happens according to it..even hard work does'nt matter..what matters is LUCK...which I lack..!!

My Classroom Crush...

It started when I saw you first time in the Assembly...
Then it came in action when I was shocked to see that you were my classmate...
And then my journey started.. :)
I use to wait every morning for you before joining the Assembly...
I use to watch you coming everyday from our floor's balcony...
Then I use to make sure I enter in class before you do...
With all the blessings from above...
I was terribly blessed that day...when I was announced as your partner...
I discovered one thing by this time...that you talk a lot...
And yes..I liked it though...
You use to share everything with me including the marks of those subjects in which we failed together..
Everything was like a fairy tale...
But...before the beginning of new session...everybody split..
You too went somewhere..I dont know where...nobody knows..
I still worry sometimes that you were real or some magical stuff...
We never met after that...Its been 3 years now...
Im amazed that anything cannot be this much...I dont know what it is...
I guess Incomplete...
So it should be..
To be continued...

The Suicide Song - "Gloomy Sunday"

"Gloomy Sunday" is a song composed by Hungarian pianist and composer Rezső Seress in 1933,The original lyrics depicted a war-stricken Hungary and a silent prayer to God. The lyrics are a mourning to a lost lover and a pledge to commit suicide to meet that lover again in the afterlife. It has become known as the "Hungarian Suicide Song" because many people have been found dead by means of suicide with this song playing.

Now I have been listening this song since over a week...And I agree that this song is very much depressing but it did not tend me to commit suicide actually...

I was already depressed with my life but still I found another way to move on...

People say that their is a subliminal message buried inside this song...

But I wonder why those people decided to end their life...no one will ever know what actually happened with them...

You = God...

Love is God...
We can find God everywhere and in everyone...
Everyone who does anything good for anyone is GOD...
Believe in Him... 
Trust Him...
Hes always with us...
And He will never let anything bad happen to us... :)

One Day...

Being Selfish...

All I want is being loved by everyone...

All I want is little affection from everybody around me...

I dont like it when people hate me for no reason...

All I want is LOVE...

All I seek is LOVE...

If its called being selfish...

Then Yes..Im Selfish...

Im The Known Stranger...

I know you cannot see me...

But I cannot help this...because I see you everywhere...

I know you dont know me...

But you're the only person I know very well...

I know you cannot hear me...

But still I want to say this...

That I Love You...

I know Im nothing for you...

But now I cannot say you're my EVERYTHING...

Because it cannot change anything...

Still you cannot see me...know me...hear me...

Im just a stranger...

Im just the known stranger...

The Charm...

Do you know why so many girls are after you...
Its because they know one day may be one of them will become the part of your life...
And thats why they try hard and hard everyday...

But not me...I dont expect anything...I just love the way life is taking me...
And Im going on and on and on...
If you'll stay that will be my destiny,
And even if you does'nt that will be again my destiny...

So its better to live your life in the way you want...
Not in the way others want you to...

The Unpredictable Future...

We may or may not stay together in future...
Or I may not be present in your coming life...
You may be not even missing me...or even forget me...
But the time I spent with you...the times you made me smile for no reason has became my life itself...
Its not that I want you to stay with me...its just that I wish you to be happy forever even if not with me then with somebody else...
You always ask me why I am with you when I know that one day you have to leave...
My answer will be that I am living the best moment of my life...and after you I'll live the best memories of my life...
You'll always be my love..you'll always be my man...

The Wordless Desire...

I have no words left..
I feel empty...
The desire to be with you...
Is DEAD now...
I had only YOU...
You had plenty...
The desire to be with you...
Is DEAD now...
With my open eyes you're not here...
But when I close them I find you near...
But..
The desire to be with you...
Is DEAD now...!!